March was a month of movement. Between field trips to government buildings, tourist centers disguised as educational facilities, aquarium recon, and the start of soccer season, the tempo remained high. Overall, we survived against increased sugar intake and reduced downtime.
Nashville Field Trip
Volunteering to chaperone a school trip is an underestimated act of survival. Nashville’s Capitol building is a labyrinth of marble, velvet ropes, and bored security guards — all prime targets for sixth-grade energy. I ran crowd control with the tactical efficiency of a man who knew the stakes: avoid headlines, avoid lawsuits, and keep my own kid from pretending to be Speaker of the House.
We made it through without incident, which counts as an outright victory in this line of work.
Pigeon Forge
Pigeon Forge is what happens when tourism and capitalism shake hands and decide to remove the brakes. We hit WonderWorks — a building that looks like a hurricane flipped it — and wandered through a maze of strobe lights, questionable science experiments, and sticky handrails. After the exhibits, the team made a critical error in judgment: a maximum-volume ice cream order.
The collapse was inevitable. Sugar levels spiked. I expected behavioral systems to crash, but somehow we had an amazing day all around with zero drama.
Chattanooga Aquarium
The Chattanooga Aquarium is a two-building, multi-level system built for slow-moving families and fast-moving children.
The butterfly room pulled heavy interest. The kids drifted through the humidity with arms out like malfunctioning drones until one butterfly made contact, landing on Wesley’s head and briefly elevating him to Pavilion royalty.
We moved on to tactical fish-handling: petting sturgeon and stingrays at the touch tanks.
After the operation, we debriefed at what the kids called the “hippy restaurants” — Mellow Mushroom pizza and Ben & Jerry’s ice cream — which, despite its tie-dye marketing, served up enough carbs to restore morale for the drive home.
Soccer
Soccer season started with predictable increased car demand – 6 days a week we are making extra trips.
Cleats were mismatched, and Austin played with one cleat and one street shoe as he lost his other shoe in the car somewhere in the panic of the commute. Socks were bright yellow instead of the required black. Water bottles were leaking in the car before we even got to the fields. Despite Josslyn wanting to quit after day 1, she stuck with it and loves it now. The boys run hard and have a blast.
